Tiina, 49, who took the Soberist – online course, explains how she managed to get rid of alcohol and how it affected her life.
I HAVE now been a soberist for a year. What can I say except that I’m damn proud of myself?
Time has gone by so fast, at least in retrospect. There were difficult and wistful moments in the beginning, but once I got over them, it got easier.
BEFORE I quit, my alcohol consumption was daily. After work, I drank red wine, beer, long drinks, and cider. On weekends, from Friday to Sunday, my alcohol consumption was quite high.
Life was a very work- and alcohol-centered gray performance from morning until the next glass of wine. I had tried to cut down and quit many times without success.
AT NIGHT, I was halfway through Ira Koivu’s book Free from Wine (I had it since its publication in 2016), and on Facebook, I had been following the Free from Wine website for a long time.
SUDDENLY, in August 2020, the site changed its name to Soberist, and at the end of September, I noticed that a new edition of the Free from Wine book had been published and they were looking for participants for the online course.
I immediately thought I’d apply, but right after that, I buried the idea. Finally, however, I dared to write an application and sent it to Ira.
I still remember how much it hurt to write that message. But in a way, it was also a great relief to admit my addiction for the first time – and to a complete stranger.
The time waiting for a reply felt really long, and I was already starting to consider other options. The need for help suddenly became compelling: once I had really admitted to myself that I had a problem, there was an urgent need to get help immediately.
FORTUNATELY, I didn’t have time to get a health insurance voucher because I was accepted into the pilot group of the “Soberist” course.”
HOW I GOT RID OF ALCOHOL
I’VE been wondering why I managed to put the cap on this time, and relatively easily. The biggest factors have certainly been too many false starts and failed attempts to reduce and stop alcohol consumption. The decision was strong from the start.
I was also aware that I was not a moderate user, and I knew that my usage would very quickly return to its old patterns.
ANOTHER factor has been the Soberist – course, and especially its weekly Zoom meetings, where I have received peer support during both good and bad moments.
Even though there were not many of us at the beginning, I felt, and still feel, that the meetings are really important for sharing experiences. Only another person in the same situation can fully understand what you are going through on this journey.
THE third thing that has been important to me on the road to success has been my husband and children, especially my 17-year-old daughter, who perhaps suffered the most from my drinking. They have been very encouraging and proud of my achievement.
A big burden of worry has been lifted off her shoulders, as she no longer has to worry about how I am when she comes home from friends.
THE best feedback I’ve ever received came from my daughter today. She said that I am her idol because I am now present and always there to help and support them whenever they need me. She also mentioned that I have survived and overcome so many difficulties.
I was so moved that I cried. In the past, I really wasn’t present, always thinking about the next glass of wine.
NOW that the kids are getting older and can manage on their own, it’s nice to plan our own activities, trips, and adventures together with my husband. I can’t imagine how my life would have been if I hadn’t stopped drinking. It’s terrifying just to think about it.
HOW LIFE CHANGED WHEN I GOT SOBER
THIS past year has been pretty amazing. I’ve learned a lot of new things about myself and changed physically, but the biggest change has definitely been in my mindset.
There is joy, laughter, and freedom in life again.
WHILE there were certainly more difficult moments in the beginning, I always tried to keep in mind what would be better in this moment if I had a glass of wine. Usually, the craving went away pretty quickly, as long as I didn’t get stuck in it.
I used to rely on a lot of non-alcoholic alternatives in different situations, but now I’ve noticed that their use has decreased on its own. Water and soda work just fine.
Of course, life brings challenges, sorrows, and difficulties from time to time, but as my course mate Liisa says, “One thing is certain: I am a soberist.”
I’m so grateful to have a whole new life: there’s time before October 30, 2020, and the period thereafter.
THANK YOU to our course mates for the invaluable peer support. Let’s continue our journey together, supporting each other through the good times and the not-so-good times.
Finally, I have to thank Ira Koivu once again for developing this course and for choosing me as a pilot. It completely changed my life. I am eternally grateful.
Thank you ❤️
– Tiina
30.10.2021
