Joonas*, 42, started on the Soberist online course in December 2022. Joonas is a working family man who values a healthy lifestyle and exercises regularly. He is also addicted to alcohol.
Joonas’ story is unusual in that he had once woken up to his alcohol problem and managed to sober up spontaneously. But seven years of absolutism were broken four years ago.
Joonas has now been sober for over 50 days.
He tells his story to help his fellow travellers.
Drinking at the bar in secret
“I was addicted to alcohol from the age of 24-30. From the age of 15, I was drinking alcohol almost constantly, exceeding the limits of heavy consumption.
I have a childhood of separation, a working alcoholic father, a youth in the 90s where weekends were spent drinking heavily. After my studies, I started working as a tour guide, where I was allowed to be drunk all day with clients.
IF I had been able to look at my situation honestly, there were clear signs of an alcohol problem. First of all, I have applied for jobs where you can drink alcohol with a licence.
WHEN I WAS in the Alps as a tour guide, I went to buy a 6-pack of Jägermaister mini bottles before the after ski, and drank one bottle at a time, secretly in the toilet. This is because ordering and getting a drink was so slow in the crowded place that I couldn’t wait. It was absurd, wasn’t it: drinking in a bar in secret.
THEN I came to Finland and started working on board as a sales negotiator. That job also involved dealing with customers. I used to go out drinking with clients with a company card, and of course I drank in my free time.
My occupational health found that my liver enzymes are elevated. I explained that we had a four-day cruise, although it didn’t come out of four days.
WHEN the excesses started to occur, I could no longer convince myself that I could moderate my consumption.
I was an absolutist for seven years
11 years ago, I spontaneously got unstuck through yoga and silence. I lived in a yoga ashram for three months, and after that I was truly sober for seven years. I rejoiced in the freedom I had gained.
In the book Free to choose. True stories of sobriety I told my story, under a pseudonym of course. At that time I was still an absolutist.
BUT after seven sober years, I started to experience cravings for the first time. I began to doubt whether I was addicted to alcohol after all. Others had also questioned my problem.
So absolutism broke down, I started drinking alcohol again. But very moderately to start with.
Over the course of FOUR years, my alcohol use steadily increased all the time, and included lying to a loved one, sugarcoating my alcohol use, anxiety, depression and constant wondering how to get out of it. Now I am aware that moderate use is not an option for me.
OVERCONSUMPTIONS have happened a few times, and I have to make an effort if I am to get through the party in moderation. I work well on weekdays and don’t drink more than the occasional sauna beer on weekdays.
For an alcoholic, one is too many, a thousand is too few
FOR THE LAST two years I have been aware of the depth of my problem, and last year (2022) I made the decision to be honest with myself. I found that I was downplaying my drinking, fooling myself, denying it, drinking in secret and planning holidays to maximise my drinking. Classic signs of alcoholism.
AVOVAIMO had repeatedly called for a reduction in alcohol consumption. However, the situation was difficult to discuss. It is difficult for someone who does not have a substance abuse problem to understand or identify with the feeling that a couple of doses of alcohol is not enough.
FOR THOSE who are not addicted, it is easy to take one or two and leave it at that.
For those of us with an alcohol problem, it’s different. One dose is too much and a thousand too little. Once you get a taste and get going, it’s hard to slow down, let alone stop.
I didn’t want to be labelled an alcoholic
I START looking for information on different treatment methods. I didn’t find it easy to participate in institutional care because it would require sick leave and opening up to my environment.
If I were to go to outpatient rehabilitation, I would still have to go to the substance abuse emergency room in the welfare area or to the social and health services, and that would be recorded in my records.
ONCE I called the municipal mental health services, and they started asking me about my drinking and filling in a form. I was told that I would have to have at least three conversations with a mental health nurse, and go through the situation before a decision was made.
I would be very uncomfortable telling my employer that I have a drinking problem and have to go away for four weeks.
Being labelled an alcoholic is a big barrier to seeking help, especially knowing the stereotypes we have about people with substance abuse problems. Someone who is not familiar with substance abuse problems, and who has no experience of it, thinks in black and white: there is something seriously wrong with someone who is seeking help. Let’s label him a crabgrass right away.
It can also be difficult for a SOCIAL WORKER to accept non-stereotypical information if the person seeking help has a very close relationship between their drinking and their own alcohol consumption. It can feel uncomfortable.
Soberist coaching helped me with my substance abuse problem
I found the Soberist website in autumn 2022, and read Ira Koivu’s
Free from wine
-book.
I identified with the message of the book and the freedom it conveyed. It resonated because I had experienced the same thing myself.
I knew that getting sober didn’t necessarily require four weeks of inpatient rehabilitation, but it did require a click of the mind – an insight that would change everything.
It was important for me to get help in a truly anonymous way, but also to be in a group, with my peers. This was made possible by the Soberist online course, which I have been on for over 50 days – alcohol free.
I told my wife that I was going to this kind of coaching, and she said that was great.
He is the only person I have told about this.
The best thing about the Soberist method is that you get to be part of a group that thinks along the same lines. It is important to be able to talk to people who understand. Your own group of friends may not be very open-minded about getting sober and living alcohol-free.
The conversations with Soberist coaches Marko and Iran, and the Teams peer meetings have been the best part. Another strength of the course is that you can do this alongside your own life.
You can keep alcohol addiction and recovery to yourself, get help in secret, without stigma.
I have also gained a lot of new information and tips for life change from the online course, even though I already knew a lot.
I HOPE that other men will find their way to the course. Even though the course is called Free yourself from wine, it’s not just for women. Here we break free
alcohol
.
* Jonah’s name has been changed
