“242 Days of Sobriety Behind Me and a Whole New Life Has Begun”
I AM a 58-year-old woman working in the healthcare field. When I was younger, my alcohol consumption was quite moderate, and that occasional drinking continued well into adulthood.
HOWEVER, little by little, wine began to take up more and more space in my life. I used to exercise a lot, which provided me with a good feeling and relaxation. Gradually, wine took the place of exercise, and before I knew it, I was hooked: if I wasn’t drinking, I was at least planning when I could drink again.
EVENTUALLY, both exercise and other hobbies fell by the wayside, and I became addicted.
I “performed” my work and life quite well, and I don’t think many people knew, let alone believed, how hooked I truly was on wine.
I am inherently a positive person, but alcohol changed me into a melancholic version of myself. I saw little joy in anything and didn’t care for myself. All I could think about was when I could drink.
I couldn’t stop anymore, even though I hated my drinking so much that I poured the remaining wine down the drain. Alcohol had completely filled my thoughts, and in my desperation, I took online “Are you drinking too much?” tests I found. Self-loathing, fatigue, and unhappiness only increased. I wanted to be free of alcohol, but I didn’t know how.
I sought help for my situation from the A-Clinic, among others, but there I felt that my problem was being downplayed: “You can always have a glass or two of wine as long as you can manage your work.”
I also participated in an online AA group and attended a few women’s meetings. While many certainly find help there, it didn’t suit me. I was no longer looking for any more blame or dwelling on the past. I already blamed myself enough and was ashamed of my drinking. I also didn’t feel comfortable repeating that I was an alcoholic.
I just wanted to be free from alcohol. I wanted to be sober and have joy in my life. Then, fortunately, I found the Soberist-online course, joined in, and today marks 242 days of sobriety.
I HAD already begun to believe that I would never be free of alcohol, but a miracle has happened: my thoughts are also free from wine. A whole new life has begun for me through this sobriety. Fear, melancholy, and anxiety are gone.
Of course, challenges and disappointments in life will always arise, but my attitude toward them has changed.
IN this method, joy and hope helped me — along with a strong decision and its anchoring. The course materials and live coaching, which I have listened to many times, have also served as reinforcing factors for my sobriety. The section on self-compassion has been particularly important.
I have freed myself from alcohol and regained my joy of life, hope, dreams, and self-care. Others have also noticed my change, and I have been able to share my situation. Perhaps through my openness, I can help others recover from alcohol with joy and hope.
I can no longer imagine a situation where I would drink alcohol. My life has become so wonderful that I never want to go back to that darkness and despair. No matter what happens, I will stick to my decision.
THIS sobriety is a process that will continue for the rest of my life and brings so many positive things that it’s hard to believe.
Riitta, 58, Soberist
This article was updated on June 29, 2021, at 4:36 PM, following new feedback from Riitta.
