31.1.2023
Mirja*, 63, had been aware of her alcohol problem for over ten years. His high status and notoriety in certain circles prevented him from going to occupational health or seeking help for fear of being exposed. Then one day he saw a woman in a yellow dress and yellow boots on TV, and that was the start of it.
Today, Mirja celebrated a year of sobriety, and she tells her story to mark the occasion.
“ALCOHOL has played a big role in my life. I planned and organised things so that I could drink. In the beginning, I organised events myself, where I cooked a lot of food, and where I had the opportunity to consume alcohol. But then, little by little, I didn’t care about the party anymore, I was drinking by myself. The number of meetings decreased when I was no longer interested in anything other than alcohol.
The average amount of wine consumed per week was three litres of beer, and beer on top of that. I drank almost every night, and if I didn’t drink, I thought about drinking.
A bottle of wine didn’t even seem like much, it was easily consumed in the evening while drinking alone.
In addition to TISSUTTEL , I had many different opportunities through my work. In the last few years, I started to get excited about those opportunities. I was afraid that I was drinking too much and I couldn’t control the situation. Every morning I would decide to get myself together, but then there would always be a reason to drink. I was anxious, but I always had to find an excuse to drink.
I thought with horror what will happen when I retire
For the last ten years I have been aware that I have a problem. I told myself that when life changes, this will change too. But the problem is not going to go away by itself.
KERRAN caller to AA’s phone. It just depressed me. The person who answered the phone said that it helped her to go to treatment. I considered getting antabuse, but he said it wouldn’t help.
I explored all the possibilities, drug treatments and Minnesota treatments, but they didn’t call to me.
I’m sensitive about this because I play a pretty big role in certain circles. I’m in a high-profile position in my job and I didn’t want to risk being exposed. For the same reason, I didn’t go to the occupational health.
I started to get really worried about my drinking and went for blood tests. My liver enzymes, cholesterol and blood pressure were high, even though I always pushed myself before the tests and tried to drink less.
ONE friend and I considered going to hypnotherapy, but no real reason was given, but the talk was that we should lose weight and therefore stop drinking.
I AM a person of extremes: I either do, or I don’t. That’s why I was terrified of what would happen when I retired. Drinking is bound to go off the rails. I was terrified.
THEN one day I saw Ira Koivu on TV as a guest on Päivärinna, wearing a yellow dress, yellow boots, and I thought, “Holy shit! That chick has the nerve to say in public that she’s had a bottle of wine in one night! It’s just like me!
I GOOGLED for more information about Ira, and bought the Free from Wine audiobook. I then bought the Free yourself from wine easily and happily online course. The course includes weekly peer meetings in Teams. It was a difficult place.
I had a terrible threshold for attending a peer meeting, I was afraid of being exposed. I was crying and terrified to say something.
For me, sobriety started from the first meeting
EVEN though I’m brave, and have been involved in so many, I was terrified of this. When you say it out loud: admitting to yourself that I have a drinking problem and I need help with it, it’s scary.
I HAD had a bottle of wine the night before, and that was the last thing I drank. For me, that sobriety started from the first meeting.
I have read a lot about addiction, alcoholism and its treatment over the years, but this Soberist method was something completely new. My sobering up started when something clicked in my brain in a new position at the Teams meeting. It was like a light bulb going on: I understood how to control my own thoughts. It really hit home.
The FIRST time I was pretty quiet. Ira didn’t harass me at all, but left me alone.
After the date, I went to the sauna with my husband, and instead of beer, I had a bottle of whiskey as a sauna drink.
I was looking forward to next Monday. The feeling was like coming to Linnanmäki, exciting in a good way.
Ira asked me if the cap had stuck and I said it had. I started living Monday to Monday, peer-to-peer became the highlight of the week.
On the THIRD weekend, a man asked me if you were sober.
I said, “Yes, I will never drink again. He said, “never”, and I said no.
The man said, “That’s a tough one.
My husband has always been a moderate user, but my quitting affected him too. Nowadays, he rarely drinks alcohol, and always checks at the restaurant to see if there are any non-alcoholic alternatives.
I never thought I could get sober so easily
I’m extremely grateful that there is this community of women where you can be with your own kind and anonymous, even if you have your cameras open and can see each other.
I never thought I could get sober so easily. I thought you needed drugs or hypnosis to do that.
OF COURSE there have been moments when you think it would be fun to go out with friends for a glass of wine. But the moments go by really quickly when you remember to manage your thoughts. However, there were surprisingly few difficult moments and I overcame them easily.
The RUPP sometimes makes those surprise attacks, but there hasn’t been a real tormentor. I have been given good tools from this course.
Others have noticed the change
I ‘ve only told one good friend about this, but I haven’t told him the real reasons either. I’ve just said that I’m paying more attention to my health and I don’t drink alcohol anymore.
But others have noticed a change in me, they say I’ve become more beautiful.
WHEN you leave alcohol behind, you get so much good stuff in its place. I love the fact that I sleep so well these days. Last summer was my first sober summer in years, and I enjoyed it much more than before. The mornings were wonderful, I exercised a lot and took naps in the hammock.
EVEN when I was still drinking, I had to work like crazy all the time to get a drink. I had to “earn” it.
Nowadays, you deserve a nap or a lazy day just because you’re tired or feel like being lazy.
I have all my test values within the reference range, and the stress-based psoriasis has disappeared.
We are a minority, and we need each other
I ‘ve always been a positive person, but now I’m even more positive. I enjoy life and I even enjoy parties where other people drink. I don’t have the slightest problem with other people drinking, as long as they’re not complete orphans. If they are, I can leave.
The SOBERIST peer meetings are still very important to me, even though I’ve been sober for a year now. When I missed two meetings a while ago, strange thoughts started to pop into my head: am I a party stopper when I don’t drink? Am I boring?
COMPARATIVE EFFECTS reset these ideas to zero. We are a minority and we need each other. A bigger problem than alcohol is the pressure created by the environment to use alcohol.
THIS Soberisti method, developed by Iran, has been the route I have been looking for for years. I really recommend it to everyone. It’s a safe, discreet method, you can be anonymous, which is important for many people. Luckily I found it and it gave me a new life.”
**
Mirjka completed one year of sobriety, soberism on 31.1.2023.
He has saved €4296 during this time, and 358 days, 716 hours that would have been spent on alcohol. Congratulations Mirja!
*The name of the book has been changed
If you want to quit alcohol and need help, check out Soberist’s Get off the booze easily and happily online coaching.
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