31.1.2023
MIRJA*, 63, had been aware of her alcohol problem for over ten years. Her high position and notoriety in certain circles prevented her from going to occupational health services or seeking help, as she feared being exposed. Then one day, she saw a woman on television in a yellow dress and yellow boots, and that was the turning point. Today, Mirja celebrates one year of sobriety, and she shares her story in honor of this achievement.
“ALCOHOL has played a significant role in my life. I planned and organized everything around the fact that I could drink. Initially, I organized events where I made a lot of food, and there was an opportunity to use alcohol. But gradually, I stopped caring about organizing parties and began to drink alone. My social gatherings decreased as I became interested only in alcohol.
I CONSUMED an average of three liters of wine per week, along with some beer on top of that. I drank almost every evening, and when I didn’t drink, I thought about drinking. A bottle of wine didn’t even feel like a lot; it was easily consumed in one evening while sipping alone.
IN addition to sipping alone, I had many different events through my work. In the last few years, I began to feel anxious about those events. I was afraid that I would drink too much and lose control of the situation. Every morning, I promised myself to shape up, but then there was always some reason to drink. I felt anxious, but I always had to find an excuse for drinking.”
I Thought with Horror What Will Happen When I Retire
FOR the last ten years, I have been aware that I have a problem. I convinced myself that when changes happen in life, this would also change. But the problem doesn’t just disappear on its own.
Once, I called an AA helpline. It only depressed me. The person who answered said that going to treatment had helped her, but I considered getting Antabuse, and she told me it wouldn’t help.
I EXPLORED all the possibilities including medication and Minnesota treatment, but they didn’t appeal to me. I am sensitive about this issue since I have a pretty significant role in certain circles. I hold a high-profile position at work, and I didn’t want to risk being exposed. For the same reason, I didn’t go to occupational health.
I started to become really concerned about my drinking and went to get blood tests. My liver values, cholesterol, and blood pressure were high, even though I always tried to drink less before the tests.
WITH one friend, we thought about going for hypnosis treatment, but we didn’t admit the real reason; instead, we talked about needing to lose weight and therefore giving up alcohol.
I am an all-or-nothing person: I either do it or I don’t. That’s why I thought with dread about what would happen when I retire. Drinking would surely get completely out of control. I was extremely scared.
THEN one day, I saw Ira Koivu on television as a guest on show called “Päivärinta“, wearing a yellow dress and yellow boots. I thought, “Wow! That girl dares to publicly say that she drank a bottle of wine every evening! She’s just like me!”
I Googled more information about Ira and bought the audiobook Free from Wine. After that, I purchased the Soberisti-online course, which includes weekly peer meetings on Teams. It was a difficult place.
IT was a huge hurdle for me to participate in a peer meeting; I was afraid of being exposed. I was in tears and terrified that I would have to say something.
For Me, Sobriety Started from the First Meeting
ALTHOUGH I am otherwise brave and have been involved in many things, I was absolutely terrified of this. When you say it out loud: confessing to yourself that I have a problem with alcohol and need help, it is frightening.
The night before, I had drunk a bottle of wine, and that was my last. My sobriety started from the first meeting.
OVER the years, I have read a lot about addiction, alcoholism, and its treatment, but the Soberist method was something completely new. My sobriety began when something clicked in my brain during those Teams meetings. It was like a light bulb went on: I understood how to manage my own thoughts. It really hit home.
AT the first meeting, I was quite silent. Ira didn’t pressure me at all; she let me be.
After the meeting, I went to the sauna with my husband. Instead of beer, I had a bottle of sparkling water as my sauna drink.
I was looking forward to the next Monday. The feeling was like going to Linnanmäki (amusement park in Helsinki), exciting in a good way.
IRA asked if the cork had stayed in, and I said yes. I began to live from Monday to Monday, and the peer meetings became the highlight of my week.
ON the third weekend, my husband asked me if I had stopped drinking
I replied, “Yes, I will never drink again.” He asked, “Never?” and I confirmed, “No.”
To that, he remarked, “That’s a big deal.” He has always been a moderate drinker, but my decision to quit has affected him too. Nowadays, he rarely drinks alcohol and always checks in restaurants to see if non-alcoholic options are available.
I would have never believed that I could become sober so easily
I AM incredibly grateful for this women’s community, where I can be with my peers and remain anonymous, even though we have our cameras on and see each other.
I would have never believed that I could become sober so easily. I thought it would require medication or hypnosis.
THERE have been, of course, bittersweet moments when I think about how nice it would be to go out drinking wine with friends. But those moments pass very quickly when I remember to steer my thoughts. I encountered surprisingly few difficult moments, and I overcame them easily.
ADDICTION sometimes makes surprise attacks, but it hasn’t been a real torture. I have gained good tools from this course.
Others Have Noticed the Change
I’VE only told one close friend about my sobriety, but I haven’t shared the real reasons either. I’ve just said that I’m focusing more on my health and don’t drink alcohol anymore.
But others have noticed a change in me; they say I’ve become more beautiful.
WHEN you leave alcohol behind, you gain so much good in return. I love that I sleep so well nowadays. Last summer was my first sober summer in years, and I enjoyed it so much more than before. The mornings were wonderful; I exercised a lot and took naps in the hammock.
BACK when I was still drinking, I constantly had to work like crazy to be able to drink. I had to “earn” it.
Nowadays, I earn naps or laziness just because I’m tired or feel like being lazy.
All my test values are within the reference ranges, and my stress-induced psoriasis has disappeared.
We Are a Minority, and We Need Each Other
I’VE always been a positive person, but now I’m even more positive. I enjoy life and even enjoy parties where others drink. I have no problem at all with others drinking, as long as they’re not completely wasted. If they are, I can leave the place.
THE Soberist peer meetings are still very important to me, even though I’ve now completed a year of sobriety. A little while ago, when I missed two meetings, strange thoughts began to emerge: am I a buzzkill for not drinking? Am I boring?
AT the peer meetings, these thoughts were reset. We are a minority and need each other. A bigger problem than alcohol is the pressure from the environment to consume alcohol.
THIS Soberisti method developed by Ira has been the route I’ve been searching for years. I really recommend it to everyone. It is a safe, discreet method; participation can be anonymous, which is important for many. Fortunately, I found it, and it has given me a new life.
**
Mirja completed one year of sobriety on January 31, 2023. She has saved €4,296 during this time, which translates to 358 days and 716 hours that would have been spent on alcohol. Congratulations, Mirja!
* Mirja’s name has been changed.
If you want to quit alcohol and need help, check out Soberisti-online course.
