If you’re considering capping and are thinking about the “big decision”, here are a few tips:
Make a list of reasons why you would stop. Don’t waste the list, but look at it every time you consider your decision. My list looked like this:
- I’m afraid that my alcohol dependence will get worse and I won’t be able to stop drinking
- I am afraid of causing permanent damage to my health
- I am constantly depressed and unhappy
- I am afraid that the problem will one day show up on the outside
- I’m constantly tired and my memory fails me
- drinking is distressing
- I want to be present for my child, and I don’t want alcohol on my mind
- I’m ashamed to drink because I can’t be a one-glass drinker
Make a list of reasons why you would not stop. My own list was quite short:
- I’m afraid I won’t be able to go to certain events and places because I don’t drink any more.
- I’m afraid I won’t be accepted as sober, that I’ll be seen as boring, backward, tight-fisted, and won’t be invited anywhere.
Look at your lists and think about which wins: the benefits or the fears? Because there are no downsides to quitting: the “why not to quit” list is always based on fears.
In both of my own lists there is a lot of fear involved and especially the reasons why I wouldn’t quit were based on fear alone.
I have now been an absolutist for almost two years and I am happy to say that all the parts of the first list have been resolved: I feel really well both physically and mentally, the depression and unhappiness disappeared very soon after quitting and have not returned, although there have been occasional setbacks in life. The fatigue is gone and the memory is working.
I enjoy my life and am very much present in it. The quality of life has improved dramatically.
The fears of the second list were unfounded.
To that extent, the first point came true, in that I no longer force myself to go to events I don’t enjoy. I used to drink myself comfortable to cope with them.
Boost your motivation by reading the joyful stories of others who have freed themselves from alcohol. I also shamelessly urge you to read what I have written Free from wine -because it has helped many people make a big decision.
If you feel you need outside help, ask for it. If you decide to join a peer support group, remember that there are different groups, and what suits one person may not suit you. Listen to yourself and change groups if it doesn’t feel right.
Here’s a little extra encouragement to support the decision to quit:
A list of benefits of quitting based on my experience
- Brain working brightly
- Memory improves
- Sleep better
- Joy increases
- Depression disappears
- Reducing the size of the eye bags
- Skin pores shrink and skin colour evens out
- Narrowing of the waist
- The cramps stop
- Stomach works
- Flattening of the stomach
- The whites of the eyes whiten
- The bruises disappear
- Humour in bloom
- It’s easy to be present
- Get more time in the week
- Feel more energetic
- Feeling happy and balanced
- Allergy symptoms are reduced
- Improved self-esteem
- You can trust yourself
- Increasing courage
- Saves money (I downloaded an app on my phone as soon as I quit, which calculates the savings that accrue when you don’t spend money on alcohol. So far I’ve saved €7150)
